[21 Sept 10]
I have to be thankful for two cats tt wandered into my life in the past few months. I learnt to show compassion and love to these two mad, frisky animals even though it takes a hellish 2 mths for them and us to settle down to them.
Mom was never supportive in any of our little exploits, so we never rly regarded her advice. She specially woke us up in the middle of the nights (3am to be exact) the first week we kept Mittens, and decided we should just bring it downstairs and let her loose. I saw no logic in letting a poor helpless kitten out on her own to starve to death in the outside world (ppl seem to avoid cats a lot ard here) so I let Midnight out instead. She did give the option of either cat going off ("only one stray at one time") so I fulfilled her wish. She obviously liked Midnight also, after having the handsome cat for 8 mths in our midst... this ugly duckling from the bowels of the society 24 floors below probably carried rabies and would hv no place in our home, esp nt to replace Midnight.
I argued that between a baby and teenager, which would you rather let loose in the jungle? Not a very smart comeback though, but logic was not prevailant at tt time of day, never with mum anyway. She insisted still though, that we get changed and set free Mittens and get Midnight back. Nat was crying in her bed. Whn i saw her I tried not to cry. Mum was in a vulnerable position 'cos I could kick her face frm whr I laid.
Yeh, truth is the hse gets relatively dirty now tt the cats hv become our permanent tenants, but im the one doing the cleaning. I dun see any joy in tt, n lesser still whn mum tries to make her life seem miserable like she were suffering the consequences of a dirty hse. Whn all she does is nag it out. Im tired of this. I hv other better optimistic and compassion driven activities to keep me busy for my entire life, like the study of the Bible, helping in charities (umairah, who's doing well, tho she dropped out of Poly to work part-time n feed the family income) and writing interesting fiction tt hv more life than mum cud offer us.
I fear I would become like her if i continue staying near her n hving to put up w her blabber on ppl being untrustworthy and disinterested in her life jus 'cos no one bothers to visit Johan dying in hospital; Christians being ordinary sinners 'cos they all act alike; everyone else nt deserving of charity jus 'cos they seem to leech off you half the time when you're just stingy and materialistic with your money. It's your idol and you are thrifty for rainy days, but never for others' rainy days. What do u learn in 7 yrs at church? Flattery? Any excuse to shirk responsibility is a reason to be dead to all else and alive to yourself.
